Day twenty-nine,
It’s been over a month since I’ve had the opportunity to focus on 100 Beautiful Days. Over the course of those weeks I’ve sat down multiple times and attempted to type out the next entry but each time I found myself staring at the blank page, the little black cursor flashing in my face, and the words just rambling around in my head but not making a lick of sense. Each attempt resulted in me typing a few lines, backspacing, typing a few more, and finally shaking my head in frustration, closing the computer and walking away.
You see, sometimes, in the middle of something really good you have to push the pause button. Not stop, not delete, just pause. Life gets hard, it gets messy and priorities have to shift and change as life comes at you. Life came at me a few weeks ago when we found ourselves walking through some difficult days with one member of our tribe. Watching someone struggle is always difficult but when it is someone you love so very much, it makes it that much harder. When you feel helpless to make it better – that much worse!
Even though I haven’t had the time or the ability to adequately express words on a page, I’ve been paying attention to the joy in the middle of this journey and my heart has been taking notes. I’ve got a page in my phone filled with positives that I’ve witnessed over the past few weeks and little moments when, in the middle of the mess, I’ve felt God wrap his arms around me and remind me that he sees me, sees my family, loves us and has a plan.
What I wish that everyone could know is that a blessed life is not without hardship and hardships are not without blessings. When seasons of difficulty come your way the work that you’ve done with God in the days before kicks in. When you’ve sat at His feet in the good times, learning about His character, diving deep in to the nature that makes Him a good, good father, then during the hard days you can lean in to that knowledge and trust Him. I tell people all the time, it’s not about feelings, it’s about knowledge. Knowledge doesn’t make it easy, but it does make it possible.
The darkness that we are walking through hasn’t lifted yet but when my eyes haven’t been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel God has sent a little flashlight to remind me he is on the journey with us. Just little moments that make you look up and say – wow God – thanks!
What difficulty are you walking through right now? Are you remembering to find God in the middle or are you feeling like He has left you all alone? Of the things I know, He promises to never leave us alone. In the middle of your trial take note of the positives. Grab a sheet of paper, make a note in your phone, keep sticky notes on a wall or mirror where you can see them. Back those up with scripture and cling to God’s unfailing word. Whatever works best for you…do that! Do whatever it takes to remember He sees you, He loves you and He has a plan.